Good. Bad. Ugly. Better.

I woke up at 8:45 AM totally excited to go to my photoshoot with Chaos and Bliss photography.

So I got ready, looked and felt gorgeous (I'm also biased) and drove over to AF. I got lost, and well, I got there late. SHOCKER. I took pictures with Cecily of Chaos and Bliss photography, and honestly had a great time. Yaay! She was very fun but professional. I'm excited to see the outcome of these pictures!! (And my pictures of the fugly chicken. I swear to God, it was a f*cking furry chicken. I have pictures I will be uploading pronto!!!)

Check out Chaos and Bliss photography HERE

I called Dave repeatedly, until he hit me over the head me with a rolling pin. Then I punched him in the face. It wasn't pretty. In fact, it was kinda bloody. Really bloody to be honest.

^(That really didn't happen. I think I hallucinated) (But I really did call him almost 347 times today.

Then I had a wonderful time at coffee with Sara. I really missed my big sister. She's so smurt!!!

And then I went to work.

And then I TRIED to find a costume at savers.

And then I felt angry.

And then I ran into Nolle and Clara and Carb and Savers.

And then Dave was nice and pissed me off.

And then I returned a movie to Blockbuster.

And then I paid 12.00 for ridiculous late fees.

And then I cried the entire way home.

And then I stayed in my car and kept crying.

And then I started screaming and crying.

And then I realized I had no friends.

And then I realized I'd be better off dead.

And then I cried harder.

And then I called Brandon.

And then he didn't answer.

And then I cried even harder.

And then I washed my make up off with tears and make up removal wipes.

And then I didn't care if my parents knew I was crying.

And then I cried to my mom.

And then I stopped crying, and blew my nose.

And then Dave called me.

And then I ate cereal.

And then I felt worthless.

And then I went upstairs to blog.

And here I am.

It was a perfect day.

Why the fuck am I a mental shithead?

Adele Makes Me Feel Alright.

Game plan

Eat both brownies.

Get shit done on my sugar high.

Die of a sugar crash.

Damn Painting

I finally finished the monster. It looks fantastic. A little too Andy Warhol for my taste, but I'll get over it. Besides, I made my stencil.

Except now i'm seeing an eye that's bothering me.

I hate art.

Goods.

Sometimes....

I paint with my ass sticking in the air.

Just because it feels right.

And it gives my back a break.

Siiigggh.

No matter how hard I try to forget.

I can't.

Because you have become one of my best friends mister. And as crazy stupid, and irritating, and cranky as I get sometimes, you treat me as an equal.


And you kiss good.

We joke the same way (Well. You laugh at my jokes, and a lot of the time, they aren't funny) and you make me smile a lot.

Sometimes it bugs me. Because I smile so much. Around you. Because if I'm sad or angry, I'm smiling, even though my eyes are sad, you'll make me laugh, and then I'll be happy. And then I feel like a crazy person.

And sometimes you send me weird messages when you're on Ambien.

But you're great.

Stressed...

Nice going Alex. You can't get things done for an extended period of time. And now the quarter is ending, and you still have so much to do. You aren't resting easy, you're stressing your brains out. Because you want to make your mommy proud. Would she be proud of a cheater? A liar? I'm cheating my way through the school system...again! Except it's frustrating because I want to be good and trusted, but sometimes life doesn't happen that way for me. Because I have a serious procrastination problem.

And I never show up to college writing.

And ARC's are totally retarded and pointless. Why do I have to PAY the f*cking school for time that I missed in the first place? Is it like a reimbursement for making my teachers mark me absent? Honestly. I can't wait for college. Normal life, here I come. Except I still have lots of days left of my last damn year. Daaamn.

I'm totally okay with getting less than perfect grades for right now. Because really, I have good habits, I'm just lazy because I don't like busy work. I love discussions, and taking notes, and feeling like I'm doing something that actually matters to me.

I hate wasting my own time with things that don't matter. I love creative writing, because I love to write. I don't know why I'm taking math. I'm dropping College Writing as soon as I can, because I didn't qualify for the English 1010 credit, which is a waste of my time if I don't get that.

I'm imperfect. And that doesn't bother me. I know that someday I'm going to do really well at whatever it is I decide to do. Because I'm the kind of person that excels in things that I enjoy. I can't stand math, it's really difficult for me to understand, and that's why I don't do well. But I'm doing fantastically in my Medical Anatomy Class and I did really well in EMS and Health Science last year. I do well in science, english, art, and music. I am not a logical mathematical brain. In fact when people say anything math related, I kind of glaze over, and want to die.

Dammit. Now I'm wasting more of my time blogging. But I love to blog. In fact if I could get enough followers, I would stop working...not really. Blogging is just a hobby. And let's be honest here, everyone is so wrapped up in themselves that they don't have time to think about anyone else. Let alone their thoughts. Except for those that care about me, I generally don't give out my URL. Because I sometimes say things the wrong way, and nobody really cares if I stole a traffic cone, or if I ate a bug.

But now I should be writing a paper, writing a research essay, taking 2 tests for anatomy, figuring out the meaning of my life, and looking into retail and the food industry as a career. . .

Mwwaah.

So There's This Boy...

And his eyes kind of make me lose my train of thought.

And his smile makes me feel all warm.

And his hands are always warm in mine.

And his words are always kind and supportive.

And he's the sweetest person I know.

And he helps me when I'm scared.

And he's smart.

And he's incredible.

Dibs.

Muuunnnddaaaii!!!

Decked out a cereal box for my mom (:

Gotta Love Forgetfulness

I'm covering a shift today from 2-4.

INSTEAD of going to the Zombiefest I was so excited to go to.

All because I'm an absent-minded dumbass and forgot for 30 seconds.

Sigh.

You know that really stupid painful moment when you realize you can't get over anything?

Me either.

Rules-Part 1

As a general rule, we don't admit to itching our krotches with a hairbrush...