When everything.
Goes wrong.
Because it's you two.
And a monster in a room.
(P.S. I totally made that monster)
27.1.12
Bleeech.
It's times like right now.
When I really want someone.
Anyone.
To be my friend.
And laugh their guts out.
To stupid things about life.
Mostly.
I miss Suz.
24.1.12
Worries.
Sweetheart.
The day I stop worrying.
About every. Little. Tiny. Thing about you.
About every. Little. Tiny. Thing about you.
Is the day.
We stop being.
So irrevocably in love.
Tangent
Dreams scare me sometimes. Lately, no matter how hard I try, I feel like I constantly have nightmares. To some, this may be silly. "Just tell yourself you don't have nightmares anymore Alex." It's not that simple.
I fall asleep every night with a lovely day dream about what my future life is going to be like. Maybe I'll be falling asleep in the arms of the man I love.
Or maybe I be sleeping next to my baby.
Maybe I'll be crawling into bed after a long day of being a writer, musician, artist, nurse, whatever I decide to be.
Point being. It's my life, which ultimately is a dictatorship, so therefore, I honestly attempt to have wonderful dreams every night.
Last nights nightmare was a rough one. One of those dreams where I wake up glistening with cold sweat, and shaking. I'm exhausted but can't fall back asleep because I'm afraid of what will happen if I slip back into a REM cycle and dream terrible things again. I didn't want to call Dave because he had been up at 4:30ish the previous morning, (and even though I know he would want me to call and rudely wake him up to a crying shaky girlfriend. Even though I knew he would talk me through my fear until I fell back asleep) I decided that he should sleep for a full night, and I'd tell him about it later
.
I've been sitting in class for the last 3 hours, and I feel like I'm going to die. I already ate my bagel (Which by the way was pathetically smeared with cream cheese. It made me want Einstein Bagels (Frankenstein.....Sophie :]) Hahahaha. Seriously. Is there a special cream cheese spreading technique that you only learn if you work at Einsteins? I can't figure it out....TANGENT. Anyway, so yeah. It's safe to assume my attention span is currently shot to hell.
I keep Googling random things. They have basically no pattern. It has seriously been just like this.
GOOGLE: Elephant.
Elephant Boner?? What the hell.
GOOGLE: Bubbles.
Oh shit. Not what I was looking for. (Never look up bubbles in Google. There will be horrible images. Trust me.)
GOOGLE: Water
That's a pretty waterfall. Damn. Now I'm thirsty.
GOOGLE: Florence Welch.
She is so pretty. I'm going to dye my hair her color.
GOOGLE: Animal abuse.
What the hell? This is depressing. Why am I looking at chemically abused animals?
GOOGLE: WTF has Obama Done?
I learned something. Great. I want a Chai Tea Frap.
GOOGLE: Starbucks.
Shouldn't have done that. I'm sad. I want coffee.
GOOGLE: Does he love me?
Nope. Great.
This has clearly been a productive period of time. And now I really want to go to Roll-up Crepes. They are Foodgasmic. Seriously. So good. Like take a Smore for instance. You wouldn't think that a Smore would be good in a Crepe. WRONG SIR. It is now the only way to eat a crepe.
TANGENT.
February (Which is spelled completely stupid, by the way. What's with the unnecessary "r"? I live in Utah. No one I know says Feb-ru-ary. It's all Feb-you-ary. TANGENT) feels like a long freaking time away. My CNA training doesn't begin until Feb. 13, so what am I supposed to do for basically another 3 weeks? Be bored. That is the answer.
I need Adderall. I'm way to ADHD to accomplish anything today.
I want a parakeet.
GOOGLE: Baby Whale
I fall asleep every night with a lovely day dream about what my future life is going to be like. Maybe I'll be falling asleep in the arms of the man I love.
Or maybe I be sleeping next to my baby.
Maybe I'll be crawling into bed after a long day of being a writer, musician, artist, nurse, whatever I decide to be.
Point being. It's my life, which ultimately is a dictatorship, so therefore, I honestly attempt to have wonderful dreams every night.
Last nights nightmare was a rough one. One of those dreams where I wake up glistening with cold sweat, and shaking. I'm exhausted but can't fall back asleep because I'm afraid of what will happen if I slip back into a REM cycle and dream terrible things again. I didn't want to call Dave because he had been up at 4:30ish the previous morning, (and even though I know he would want me to call and rudely wake him up to a crying shaky girlfriend. Even though I knew he would talk me through my fear until I fell back asleep) I decided that he should sleep for a full night, and I'd tell him about it later
.
I've been sitting in class for the last 3 hours, and I feel like I'm going to die. I already ate my bagel (Which by the way was pathetically smeared with cream cheese. It made me want Einstein Bagels (Frankenstein.....Sophie :]) Hahahaha. Seriously. Is there a special cream cheese spreading technique that you only learn if you work at Einsteins? I can't figure it out....TANGENT. Anyway, so yeah. It's safe to assume my attention span is currently shot to hell.
I keep Googling random things. They have basically no pattern. It has seriously been just like this.
GOOGLE: Elephant.
Elephant Boner?? What the hell.
GOOGLE: Bubbles.
Oh shit. Not what I was looking for. (Never look up bubbles in Google. There will be horrible images. Trust me.)
GOOGLE: Water
That's a pretty waterfall. Damn. Now I'm thirsty.
GOOGLE: Florence Welch.
She is so pretty. I'm going to dye my hair her color.
GOOGLE: Animal abuse.
What the hell? This is depressing. Why am I looking at chemically abused animals?
GOOGLE: WTF has Obama Done?
I learned something. Great. I want a Chai Tea Frap.
GOOGLE: Starbucks.
Shouldn't have done that. I'm sad. I want coffee.
GOOGLE: Does he love me?
Nope. Great.
This has clearly been a productive period of time. And now I really want to go to Roll-up Crepes. They are Foodgasmic. Seriously. So good. Like take a Smore for instance. You wouldn't think that a Smore would be good in a Crepe. WRONG SIR. It is now the only way to eat a crepe.
TANGENT.
February (Which is spelled completely stupid, by the way. What's with the unnecessary "r"? I live in Utah. No one I know says Feb-ru-ary. It's all Feb-you-ary. TANGENT) feels like a long freaking time away. My CNA training doesn't begin until Feb. 13, so what am I supposed to do for basically another 3 weeks? Be bored. That is the answer.
I need Adderall. I'm way to ADHD to accomplish anything today.
I want a parakeet.
GOOGLE: Baby Whale
19.1.12
9.1.12
1.1.12
I Bet.
You've never admitted...
You've been constipated for weeks.
You have killer cramps.
Your boobs hurt.
You have an addiction to something unfeminine.
You take 56 minutes to get ready.
You are afraid of spiders.
You fear being imperfect.
You fear losing your forever.
But you can admit all of that.
Because you're dating a nurse.
I'm.
Falling.
Laughing.
Crying.
Learning.
Growing.
Smiling.
Dancing.
Feeling.
Doing.
Seeing.
Going.
Moving.
Eating.
Kissing.
Hugging.
Trusting.
Falling.
In love.
With.
You.
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