So I was in art class today, and seriously, I was in the worst mood ever. It was like I was a bitter old woman. Hahaha. But it's not funny. I was working on my fetus painting, and I just hate it. Seriously. Everytime I start a project, I end up hating it. I think the only project I didn't hate was the watercolor of myself last year, but I stayed up till 3 that night, so it didn't really matter. And I ended up HATING THAT anyway. Ugh. X_X Dead.
Ummm. So the sock drive is slightishly stressing me out. I'm worried about outcome. Like my mom said, if you even get 10 pairs of socks, you're making a difference, but seriously, I could just go buy a package of socks myself if the outcome was that low. Which makes me feel embarrassed. I'm always embarrassed. Like nothing I say is worth listening to. Ever. Which I guess most people feel like.
I don't know why I'm in such a weird mood today. It's like I know I SHOULD be happy, because I'm healthy, and I'm doing decently in school finally, and I'm trying my best to stay orginized, but there's this dark shadow. It's really making me kind of trip. It's like the raincloud analogy. There's a dark cloud above my head, but everytime I start to get really low, the sun shines, and makes me feel bright and shining again.
It's inconsistent.
I just popped my back (: Now I'm trying to smile when I feel like screaming. It's not as easy as it sounds.
But now I have to think about why I'm lucky to be alive.
Not everyone has that chance.
People die young.
Sariah was so sad yesterday. I tried to help her, but I felt entirely powerless. I guess I need to be patient.
PS. Happy December. (:
