Forever Alone.

Sure. I have friends. I might even have a couple guys that give a shit about me. Yay. Thank God for that....But I don't know why everyone is wasting their time. I'm WORTHLESS. A waste of space. Has that ever crossed your mind? Sometimes. I do stupid things. And I don't understand why I do the things I do. And frankly, I don't really want to. Because I know I'll just end up hurting myself. Like now, for instance. I'm supposed to be cleaning my bathroom so I can go shopping with my family up at The Gateway. But I feel depressed right now, and just need to get it out of my system. I haven't journaled any feelings. Just events. And it's killing me. Like this morning, I didn't want to move. I just wanted to stay under my covers, and hide from the world. I'm not the daughter my parents brought up. I don't know who I am.

Suzanna:
Why did you go? Why did you have to leave here? Why did I have to go? We both know I'd do so much better in North Carolina, where the world is NORMAL. I can swear, I can laugh, I can stay up late, and no one cares. I need you so much right now, but you're just starting to get adjusted to moving and a new job and everything, and I don't want to rock the boat. So I'll just wallow in self pity until I can figure out what it is I need to do. I need you so much. I need to hear your voice, and see you, and hug you. I need my best friend. But she isn't tangible at the moment. WHY?!?!?!

Sariah:
We keep pretending that things are different. I wish they were. But we haven't even TEXTED in almost a week. I saw your new apartment, thinking it was me and you time. But there is no such thing as you and me time anymore. It's you and Shawn, and oh yeah, I think Alex was there too time. I'm always going to wish that things were just like the way they used to be. And yes, I do love Shawn like a brother. He's a good guy, and I'm so happy for you. But you're basically married. And it hurts me sometimes, because, I just really need to cry, but I've lost my best friend.


Nina:
I miss you. Things will never be like they used to, will they?


Anne:
Thank you so much for everything you've done for me recently. Having someone to share my girly pleasures with has helped me more than I'll ever be able to communicate. You're basically the funniest person ever, and I'm happy we're friends. I hope that we'll stay friends forever. Who knows? Life is funny that way. Thank you for listening to my drama, even though I'm pretty sure you'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard. You're amazing.


Sam:
I'm really into you, but I'm not sure if it's reciprocated right now. I'm hurting, and I'm afraid to tell you. but I' really like you. And I've never had such intense chemistry with anyone on a first meeting basis in my entire life.


I'm so sick of all of this shit. Life just needs to end, or I need to change my scenery or something.