Anger Chamber

Sometimes I get grumpy.

Sometimes I get irritated.

But I never get mad.

So why do I feel this way?

Letter to My Boy.

Dear Boy,
Sweetheart! You did it! You are officially done with your Bachelor's degree, which is absolutely amazing to me.  I know this last semester was hard, stressful, and irritating, but you pulled through. And with good grades too (: I am so proud of you, and can not wait for the rest of our adventures over the summer. Neither of us will have to think about school for a while, which will be nice. I hope you have a wonderful night at work.
Oh. And sweetheart.
I love you.
Love,
Your Girl.

stupid.

No worries. I just signed up for an extra presentation haphazardly.

Twins.

I'm going to be honest. . .

I really love babies.

Especially twin babies.

18..

Oh my!!!! I can vote!!!

Cupcakes.

Happy Birthday to me.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to meeee,
Happy birthday to me!

Wisdom From A New Adult.

• Starbucks makes everything better.

• Feel like crap? Take a shower. You probably smell bad.

• Kisses from the boyfriend make everything happy. Especially when his face is all soft and freshly shaved.
• Daddy hugs are the best hugs.
• Sometimes your mom is infinitely more attractive than you ever thought possible. Good news. If you got a decent end of the gene pool, you're probably in luck too.
• Boys are still dumb. They don't get smarter until they are about 21.
• Reading a good book is always enjoyable.
• Wear rings. Lots of them.
• You know that fuzzy feeling in your guts? It's not fuzzy. It's gas. (Hahahaha.)
• You know that fluttery feeling in your heart? It's love...probably.
• Caffeine induced heart rates and energy do come down eventually. Then comes a caffeine induced coma.
• I really know nothing.

• Guess what? .........Chicken butt. That's still funny.

Arrivederci 17...

Dear 17-year-old Alex,

It is your last day as a minor. I hope you did something mildly troublesome. But we both know you didn't. We're going to start this with all the cool shit you accomplished first, then transition into life lessons, and what to avoid for adulthood. Mmkeh? Okay.

Alex, you are one awesome kid. But, with you being about an hour and a half away from adulthood, I figure I should recognize you for each major accomplishment you achieved in your life so far.

Birth-You survived. Congratulations. You were delivered in a hospital to loving parents.

1-You've managed to walk and say you're first word....doggie.

2-You showed mom. "My kids don't have the terrible two's?" HA! Lipstick and swirlies were a major accomplishment.

3-You haven't killed your younger sister yet. Good job.

4-You can dress yourself, and take care of animals. Kudos!

5-You started kindergarten. And maintained a little boyfriend.

6-Your little fingers can reach a full octave on the piano, that's awesome.

7-You can win any jumprope competition in the world. Or playground. But it's the same thing.

8-You've started gymnastics. And you're progressing. Fast.

9-Now you're in dance, gymnastics, and piano. Good job kid.

10-Double digits. BAM!

11-You got braces. Not much of an accomplishment, but worth the smile.

12-You've started junior high, and joined orchestra. (: Best decision ever.

13-You're hair is gorgeously curly. Word of advice: Love it. It gets fried later.

14-You're teaching your aerobics class. Kick ass.

15-The cutest little sophomore ever! Honors art is awesome!

16-Can you say license? AP ART.....

17-You fell in love! Good job!

18- ?

As you can see, you were a successful young person. Now, let's talk about what we've learned.

Alex, let's get something straight. You know nothing. At all. But you do know somethings. I realize this doesn't make sense. Let me explain.

You do not know all. You do not know what it's like to go to college, be married, be poor, balance a real job and school, or even know what it's like to have a debit card. DO NOT PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE THINGS. DON'T BE A DUMBASS.

You do know what it's like to really be happy, what it really means to hurt, how to drive a car, how paying for medicare sucks, and that being in love is awesome. You also know how to be a good sister, and sometimes a good friend. You may not have lots of them, but you have enough.

What have we learned this year, Alex? Hm? You had to learn how to be by yourself and be okay. All your friends graduated, and you learned that sometimes being alone isn't a bad thing. You had time to learn more about yourself, and accept yourself for who you are.

You learned what it really means to hurt. No explanation needed.

You learned how to look fear in the eye, and tell it you won't back down.

You learned what it really means to be a member of your family. What it means to be a good sister and daughter, and that loyalty is always important, no matter what the situation is.

You learned to be a better listener. Listen with your ears, and not your head.

You learned that it's okay to fall in love, and look, you met Dave.

You learned how to be Alex.

WHAT TO AVOID FOR 18:

Credit cards are not free money. Use cash or a debit card.

Your metabolism does not last forever. So eat healthy, fatty (:

It will seem tempting, but don't sell plasma. It's worse than donating blood, and we know how you react to that.

Unnecessary stress. So don't force yourself to make gigantic decisions.

Depression. It's okay to feel sad sometimes, but be happy.

You are a beautiful and incredible person. I am honored to have been able to share in your journey this past year. I know you will become a successful adult, have a good career, marry a good person, be a good mom, and live a good life.

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever give up. Because even if the world gives up on you, don't you dare give up on yourself.

Now, go eat a cupcake, or go to bed, or smile goofy, or something.

Oh and one more thing.

Alex....

Happy birthday.

I love you.

Alexandria Katherine Judd

Dreamer, Writer, Artist, Musician, Hippie, Goofie. Alex.

Arrivederci 17...

Dear 17-year-old Alex,

It is your last day as a minor. I hope you did something mildly troublesome. But we both know you didn't. We're going to start this with all the cool shit you accomplished first, then transition into life lessons, and what to avoid for adulthood. Mmkeh? Okay.

Alex, you are one awesome kid. But, with you being about an hour and a half away from adulthood, I figure I should recognize you for each major accomplishment you achieved in your life so far.

Birth-You survived. Congratulations. You were delivered in a hospital to loving parents.

1-You've managed to walk and say you're first word....doggie.

2-You showed mom. "My kids don't have the terrible two's?" HA! Lipstick and swirlies were a major accomplishment.

3-You haven't killed your younger sister yet. Good job.

4-You can dress yourself, and take care of animals. Kudos!

5-You started kindergarten. And maintained a little boyfriend.

6-Your little fingers can reach a full octave on the piano, that's awesome.

7-You can win any jumprope competition in the world. Or playground. But it's the same thing.

8-You've started gymnastics. And you're progressing. Fast.

9-Now you're in dance, gymnastics, and piano. Good job kid.

10-Double digits. BAM!

11-You got braces. Not much of an accomplishment, but worth the smile.

12-You've started junior high, and joined orchestra. (: Best decision ever.

13-You're hair is gorgeously curly. Word of advice: Love it. It gets fried later.

14-You're teaching your aerobics class. Kick ass.

15-The cutest little sophomore ever! Honors art is awesome!

16-Can you say license? AP ART.....

17-You fell in love! Good job!

18- ?

As you can see, you were a successful young person. Now, let's talk about what we've learned.

Alex, let's get something straight. You know nothing. At all. But you do know somethings. I realize this doesn't make sense. Let me explain.

You do not know all. You do not know what it's like to go to college, be married, be poor, balance a real job and school, or even know what it's like to have a debit card. DO NOT PRETEND LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THESE THINGS. DON'T BE A DUMBASS.

You do know what it's like to really be happy, what it really means to hurt, how to drive a car, how paying for medicare sucks, and that being in love is awesome. You also know how to be a good sister, and sometimes a good friend. You may not have lots of them, but you have enough.

What have we learned this year, Alex? Hm? You had to learn how to be by yourself and be okay. All your friends graduated, and you learned that sometimes being alone isn't a bad thing. You had time to learn more about yourself, and accept yourself for who you are.

You learned what it really means to hurt. No explanation needed.

You learned how to look fear in the eye, and tell it you won't back down.

You learned what it really means to be a member of your family. What it means to be a good sister and daughter, and that loyalty is always important, no matter what the situation is.

You learned to be a better listener. Listen with your ears, and not your head.

You learned that it's okay to fall in love, and look, you met Dave.

You learned how to be Alex.

WHAT TO AVOID FOR 18:

Credit cards are not free money. Use cash or a debit card.

Your metabolism does not last forever. So eat healthy, fatty (:

It will seem tempting, but don't sell plasma. It's worse than donating blood, and we know how you react to that.

Unnecessary stress. So don't force yourself to make gigantic decisions.

Depression. It's okay to feel sad sometimes, but be happy.

You are a beautiful and incredible person. I am honored to have been able to share in your journey this past year. I know you will become a successful adult, have a good career, marry a good person, be a good mom, and live a good life.

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever give up. Because even if the world gives up on you, don't you dare give up on yourself.

Now, go eat a cupcake, or go to bed, or smile goofy, or something.

Oh and one more thing.

Alex....

Happy birthday.

I love you.

Alexandria Katherine Judd

Dreamer, Writer, Artist, Musician, Hippie, Goofie. Alex.

Hope.

Sometimes you find hope in weird places.

Like when you meet your favorite blogger.

In front of Cafe Rio.

And you run up to her, and stop her and her husband.

Just so you can tell her you follow her blog.

She's all beautiful, and wearing a cute striped shirt, gray jeans, and combat boots.

You're wearing your Avenged Sevenfold T-shirt, old jeans, beat up slippers, no make up, and greasy bunned up hair.

And she hugs you.

And in that 2 seconds.

You feel the warmth of hope.

Tickling your heart and tummy.

She asks you about your blog.

You tell her it's sweary.

She asks for the url anyway.

And you feel so honored.

That your favorite blogger.

Might read your words.

That you wish.

Changed something.

Who is this blogger?

Meg.

m2story.blogspot.com

I love her dearly.

Itches.

Sometimes, I get an itch. On my arm, or leg. And I can't stop itching it. I'll itch and itch until I bleed or bruise, or both. It's not compulsive, I just want the itch to stop. In that same sense, sometimes I just want time to stop. I want to stop growing up. I want to remember what it was like when dandelions had magic, and granted wishes. But time is aggressive. And I still get another day older, another day of my life over, and one less chance to make my life what I dream for it to be. Growing up is becoming a wedgie in the bum of life. Except I can't pick this wedgie, whether in be publicly or privately, because I can't tell my cells to just stop. I'm still going to turn another year older, have to decide on a career. Eventually become a mom.

Growing up is itchy.

Or maybe it's scary.

On the bright side I bought princess bubblebath this weekend. (:

Are you serious?

Well. Just kidding. Never say never. It can always be worse.

Period + What I think is an UTI + teaching Sunday school in about 40 minutes = Sadness.

But hey, here's a cute old couple.

Periodisms.

This is the worst period ever. On that note, here are some elephants.

White Blank Page.

The fact of the matter is, I can't wait to get married. I realize it's a bit of a distance away, but I'm not like everyone else, thinking about flowers, dresses, and centerpieces. I am excited for BEING married. Snuggling as I fall asleep, waking up groggy only to look over at a groggy husband, watching movies on a Tuesday night, buying groceries, arguing about silly things and making up shortly after. Having someone to hold my hand when I start pinching myself (weird habit of mine...) Someone to kiss my forehead when I bump in on the cabinets, being poor with someone, having to pay bills, everything. I want the experience of have a spouse. Not just the wedding. Because I hope I would marry someone (David) that would love me just as I am with a huge dress and make up, as a T-shirt and greasy hair. (Doesn't happen that often). I hope I would marry someone that would bring home Phish Food ice cream on a shit day, and someone that understands that no matter how hard I try, I will NEVER be a morning individual. I want to be able to burst into tears, because I can't cook things without something going wrong, and someone to cuddle with me as my uterus is torn apart with period pains. My sinuses hurt. My heart hurts. My head hurts. And I need a nap. Or just Dave.

Quote of the Day

"Sweetie...you're wearing rainboots, short shorts and a Geek Squad T-shirt. Do you really think I care that you itched your crotch? "

Dave 4-3-12 (After he looked over to see me awkwardly itching my leg. I apologized.)

CNA

I absolutely love my Nursing Assisting classes. I'm getting nervous, because we start clinicals in a few weeks. But I've heard that they're the most fun out of all of the class work. I need to start working on my presentation soon. Congestive Heart Failure. Since that stole years from my grandpa's life, I figured I could learn more about the illness, and benefit from it.