White Blank Page.

The fact of the matter is, I can't wait to get married. I realize it's a bit of a distance away, but I'm not like everyone else, thinking about flowers, dresses, and centerpieces. I am excited for BEING married. Snuggling as I fall asleep, waking up groggy only to look over at a groggy husband, watching movies on a Tuesday night, buying groceries, arguing about silly things and making up shortly after. Having someone to hold my hand when I start pinching myself (weird habit of mine...) Someone to kiss my forehead when I bump in on the cabinets, being poor with someone, having to pay bills, everything. I want the experience of have a spouse. Not just the wedding. Because I hope I would marry someone (David) that would love me just as I am with a huge dress and make up, as a T-shirt and greasy hair. (Doesn't happen that often). I hope I would marry someone that would bring home Phish Food ice cream on a shit day, and someone that understands that no matter how hard I try, I will NEVER be a morning individual. I want to be able to burst into tears, because I can't cook things without something going wrong, and someone to cuddle with me as my uterus is torn apart with period pains. My sinuses hurt. My heart hurts. My head hurts. And I need a nap. Or just Dave.