Fat Kid.

DISCLAIMER: This is a whiny, I hate my body post. If you don't want to read it, you aren't hurting my feelings....

This is the cycle of my eating habits and feelings towards foods. My waistline is growing, and that's just the way that it is right now.

I hate what I look like. I wear things that are too big or too tight, or things that could almost fit, but don't. I don't want to try on wedding dresses. I don't. I don't want to wear a bathing suit. I don't want to take care of myself. I hate exercising, because it's starting from square freaking 1. I can't run a mile, let alone for 30 minutes.

Big is beautiful. I really believe that. There are lots of stunning women who have full figures. But I've always wanted to be the tiny girl. The teeny tiny girl that wears leggings and t shirts, and always has cold fingers because she's too skinny to produce body heat.

I've accepted that I'll never be that way.

But it still sucks to always feel like the fat kid.