Kayaking Trip.

Today, I woke up after tossing and turning all night. All my muscles hurt from my kayaking trip, and I feel exhausted.

My kayaking trip was an amazing experience. I met some pretty awesome people, and I made some really good friends that are going somewhere with their lives. It felt good. I pushed my body to limits I didn't know I could. (For a while I had given up on my fitness, because although I know Dave will love me no matter what size I am, I wasn't happy with my own body.) It was a nice break from my everyday life. I had to trust people. Trust my body. I was away from my cell phone, my blog, my laptop, school, work, my family, my sweetheart, everything I knew. I was thrown completely out of my element. And I feel like I did really well. And all those wonderful people, really helped take me on this really cool and unique experience.

It was a really spiritual experience, truth be told. There were times where I was sure I could know paddle 1 more inch. I was too tired. Too sore. Too everything. So I'd pray. I'd pray really hard. Say a Hail Mary, and find inner strength to push farther. I wasn't the fastest in the group. Most of the time I was the slowest. But at the end of the trip. When we were on our way home. I was the second to get into the bay. And by 22 seconds. And I have never felt so physically accomplished in my entire life.

I would never take back the laughs, the tears, the strangers, the jumps, the hikes. Any of it. Because for the first time in months. I'm back. And better than ever. I'm Alex. All over again.