1. Gum chompers.
2. Food smackers.
3. Clothing snags.
4. Nail snags.
5. Nail clicking.
6. Rude drivers.
7. Rude people.
8. Judgemental people.
9. Messed up sheets.
10. Tangled up straightener cord.
28.2.13
Day 10: My Most Embarrassing Moment
Hmm. My whole life is embarrassing. Hahahaha.
But if I had to narrow it down to 1.....
I was in fifth grade. It was during state testing. State testing makes classrooms silent. So silent, you could her a pin drop. I had finished my test, bent over to get my book off the floor, and farted really loud. Everyone instantly looked at me. I had to force myself to keep reading, and not look over my book. I almost cried. Now I cry from laughing when I tell this story. Hahahahaha.
But if I had to narrow it down to 1.....
I was in fifth grade. It was during state testing. State testing makes classrooms silent. So silent, you could her a pin drop. I had finished my test, bent over to get my book off the floor, and farted really loud. Everyone instantly looked at me. I had to force myself to keep reading, and not look over my book. I almost cried. Now I cry from laughing when I tell this story. Hahahahaha.
Day 9: The 10 People That Have Influenced You the Most
1. My husband.
I know I'm only 18, and I know some of the thoughts I had on love and marriage were and are because I am a young teenager. BUT... I was convinced I would never find the love of my life, and that I would settle with anyone that might love me. Dave really changed all of that for me. He was my best friend. He took everything about me with such stride and loved all of it. In that same regard, I love him. I love Dave so much. I love him for everything he is, even the bits that frustrate me a little. There is nothing he could ever do to make me not love him, and I don't think I could ever make him not love me either. I know, I'm a newlywed, so this probably has the meaning of a grain of salt. But for me, that will always be enough.
2. Suzanna.
I met this special girl when we were 4. We have been inseparable since then. We don't live in the same state anymore. In fact, she lives across the country from me, in North Carolina, but we talk everyday, and I think we've been closer since she's been away. She's always been there for me. And I'll always be there for her.
3. My mother.
My mommy and I are best friends. Aside of the fact that she let me be a parasitical organism for 9 months, and went through painful labor to get me here, she's always been my hero. We were close even when I was a baby. She cuddled me, and made me feel so safe, and she's always done that. Maybe not in a physical sense, but she's always listened to me, advised me, and comforted me whenever I needed. She gives the best hugs, and makes me laugh until I can't breathe. And even then I'm still laughing. She's cool and hip, and wears cool pajama pants. She's an awesome lady, and I'm damn lucky to call her my mom.
4. My father.
My daddy and I go way back. Hahahaha. He used to work at home building mantels, so while my mom was staying late at school, I hung out with my dad. I used to make little mini mantels out of the wood scraps that he had from all of his real mantels. And he would give me 10$ when I decided to sweep all the sawdust out of the garage. When you're 8, 10$ is a lot of money. More than that, he's never missed a dance recitial, gymnastic competition, talent show, piano festival, orchestra concert, or play in my entire life. It was always so important for my dad to go to those things, and looking back, it means so much to me that he made it such a priority. He's always picked me up when I've fallen down, hugged me, and made sure I was alright. My daddy is wise, and has a great laugh. I love my dad so much.
5. My brother PJ.
We used to kill each other. Hahahaha. We seriously would beat each other up as kids. He was always bigger, and tickled me until I screamed and cried. But I think he preferred me over the other sisters (shhhh) because I was a bit more of a tomboy. He's helped me through a lot of problems in my life. I remember in ninth grade, I was really lost, and he really helped me through that. He would talk to me as he did his homework, but he always listened. And that meant so much to me. He's smart, and is about to go to law school. And now he's marrying the love of his life. And I couldn't be happier for him. I'll always be close to my brother. And I hope he always feels close to me.
6. My big sister Sara.
Holy cow. If you guys only understood how amazing this girl was. Even if you sort of understood. Sara is the kind of person that walks into a room, and instantly the mood changes. She carries such a grace (that's even her middle name) and beauty about her. But she's so silly and goofy. She laughs at everything. And we laugh so hard together. Sara has been one of my biggest supporters in all areas of my life. We didn't always get along, but we have both worked on our relationship a lot. Especially since I've been married. She has given me some really good advice. She is always up for a phone call, or a coffee date. She's been such an example of success. She decided she wanted to go into law, rocked the LSAT, and has been accepted into several law schools all over. She's passionate about life, and she is one of the most beautiful people I know. I love Sara. And I hope that we'll be close forever.
7. My baby sister Sophie.
Sophie has been my best friend for my entire life. I was a bit of an introvert my whole life. Don't get me wrong, I'm confident, but I've never had many friends. But I've always had Sophie. I know she's my sister, but she always played the games I wanted to play, and listened to me when I thought no one was listening. When I got my license, she was my copilot whenever I went anywhere. She has the best laugh out of anyone I've ever met. It's not light and musical and phony. It's real, and makes the whole atmosphere change. I haven't been very nice to her recently. And I'm not really sure why. I think it's because I know I can take my frustrations out on her, and she'll still love me. But that's not fair. I'm sorry Sophie. Forgive me? That's one of the greatest things about Sophie. Is her ability to forgive. Her heart is the size of the world. But she's generally so happy. My little sister is amazing. I love her forever.
8. My mother-in-law Cindy.
I always hoped I would be close to my mother-in-law, and I'm really lucky. Cindy is one of my closest friends. She always willing to help Dave and I in any way that she can, and is one of the most generous people I have ever known. Her love for her family amazes me. And I feel that love, as her daughter-in-law. Every Sunday, we have Sunday dinner. She always makes a delicious meal, and helps everyone forget the stress or frustrations they've felt in that week. Cindy is truly an amazing person. I've always felt close with her, and I think I always will. We laugh together, and I feel perfectly comfortable coming over just to talk to her. She is an AMAZING grandma. Holy cow. Olivia and Kade are so lucky. She is always willing to babysit them, and they have so much fun with her. I love her enthusiasm, and her passion for her family. I love her, and I'm so happy to be part of her family.
9. A Special Resident
(Due to HIPAA violations I can not disclose her name). This special resident will always have a place in my heart. Whenever I wake her up, she is happy and radiant. She has a love for everyone at Trinity Mission. Everyone. She has a happy laugh, and makes everyone around her feel better about themselves. She has taught me more about finding happiness wherever you seek it, than I could have ever imagined. She could very easily be discouraged. Especially living in a resting home. But she takes it in such stride, and makes sure everyone feels happy around her. I love her, and only wish happy things for her in her whole life.
10. Mr. Clinton.
He was my 10th grade high school health teacher. He was my high school principal. He was one of my oclosest friends and biggest supporters. He has a passion for teaching that not many teacher possess. He is loud and doesn't always say things right, but he is wise. There were many times when we would have talks for hours after school. And he listened to me. And gave me some of the best advice I could ever ask for. I was feeling unhappy in high school. And he told me his expectation for my graduation. He wanted to give me a hug when I graduated. So I had to graduate, and couldn't get too overwhelmed with my life. And he did give me a hug when I graduated. And told me he was so proud of me. I had my parents support all through high school, but it meant so much to me to have a teacher, and a principal believe in me all through high school. Mr. Clinton, thank you. Thank you so much.
I know I'm only 18, and I know some of the thoughts I had on love and marriage were and are because I am a young teenager. BUT... I was convinced I would never find the love of my life, and that I would settle with anyone that might love me. Dave really changed all of that for me. He was my best friend. He took everything about me with such stride and loved all of it. In that same regard, I love him. I love Dave so much. I love him for everything he is, even the bits that frustrate me a little. There is nothing he could ever do to make me not love him, and I don't think I could ever make him not love me either. I know, I'm a newlywed, so this probably has the meaning of a grain of salt. But for me, that will always be enough.
2. Suzanna.
I met this special girl when we were 4. We have been inseparable since then. We don't live in the same state anymore. In fact, she lives across the country from me, in North Carolina, but we talk everyday, and I think we've been closer since she's been away. She's always been there for me. And I'll always be there for her.
3. My mother.
My mommy and I are best friends. Aside of the fact that she let me be a parasitical organism for 9 months, and went through painful labor to get me here, she's always been my hero. We were close even when I was a baby. She cuddled me, and made me feel so safe, and she's always done that. Maybe not in a physical sense, but she's always listened to me, advised me, and comforted me whenever I needed. She gives the best hugs, and makes me laugh until I can't breathe. And even then I'm still laughing. She's cool and hip, and wears cool pajama pants. She's an awesome lady, and I'm damn lucky to call her my mom.
4. My father.
My daddy and I go way back. Hahahaha. He used to work at home building mantels, so while my mom was staying late at school, I hung out with my dad. I used to make little mini mantels out of the wood scraps that he had from all of his real mantels. And he would give me 10$ when I decided to sweep all the sawdust out of the garage. When you're 8, 10$ is a lot of money. More than that, he's never missed a dance recitial, gymnastic competition, talent show, piano festival, orchestra concert, or play in my entire life. It was always so important for my dad to go to those things, and looking back, it means so much to me that he made it such a priority. He's always picked me up when I've fallen down, hugged me, and made sure I was alright. My daddy is wise, and has a great laugh. I love my dad so much.
5. My brother PJ.
We used to kill each other. Hahahaha. We seriously would beat each other up as kids. He was always bigger, and tickled me until I screamed and cried. But I think he preferred me over the other sisters (shhhh) because I was a bit more of a tomboy. He's helped me through a lot of problems in my life. I remember in ninth grade, I was really lost, and he really helped me through that. He would talk to me as he did his homework, but he always listened. And that meant so much to me. He's smart, and is about to go to law school. And now he's marrying the love of his life. And I couldn't be happier for him. I'll always be close to my brother. And I hope he always feels close to me.
6. My big sister Sara.
Holy cow. If you guys only understood how amazing this girl was. Even if you sort of understood. Sara is the kind of person that walks into a room, and instantly the mood changes. She carries such a grace (that's even her middle name) and beauty about her. But she's so silly and goofy. She laughs at everything. And we laugh so hard together. Sara has been one of my biggest supporters in all areas of my life. We didn't always get along, but we have both worked on our relationship a lot. Especially since I've been married. She has given me some really good advice. She is always up for a phone call, or a coffee date. She's been such an example of success. She decided she wanted to go into law, rocked the LSAT, and has been accepted into several law schools all over. She's passionate about life, and she is one of the most beautiful people I know. I love Sara. And I hope that we'll be close forever.
7. My baby sister Sophie.
Sophie has been my best friend for my entire life. I was a bit of an introvert my whole life. Don't get me wrong, I'm confident, but I've never had many friends. But I've always had Sophie. I know she's my sister, but she always played the games I wanted to play, and listened to me when I thought no one was listening. When I got my license, she was my copilot whenever I went anywhere. She has the best laugh out of anyone I've ever met. It's not light and musical and phony. It's real, and makes the whole atmosphere change. I haven't been very nice to her recently. And I'm not really sure why. I think it's because I know I can take my frustrations out on her, and she'll still love me. But that's not fair. I'm sorry Sophie. Forgive me? That's one of the greatest things about Sophie. Is her ability to forgive. Her heart is the size of the world. But she's generally so happy. My little sister is amazing. I love her forever.
8. My mother-in-law Cindy.
I always hoped I would be close to my mother-in-law, and I'm really lucky. Cindy is one of my closest friends. She always willing to help Dave and I in any way that she can, and is one of the most generous people I have ever known. Her love for her family amazes me. And I feel that love, as her daughter-in-law. Every Sunday, we have Sunday dinner. She always makes a delicious meal, and helps everyone forget the stress or frustrations they've felt in that week. Cindy is truly an amazing person. I've always felt close with her, and I think I always will. We laugh together, and I feel perfectly comfortable coming over just to talk to her. She is an AMAZING grandma. Holy cow. Olivia and Kade are so lucky. She is always willing to babysit them, and they have so much fun with her. I love her enthusiasm, and her passion for her family. I love her, and I'm so happy to be part of her family.
9. A Special Resident
(Due to HIPAA violations I can not disclose her name). This special resident will always have a place in my heart. Whenever I wake her up, she is happy and radiant. She has a love for everyone at Trinity Mission. Everyone. She has a happy laugh, and makes everyone around her feel better about themselves. She has taught me more about finding happiness wherever you seek it, than I could have ever imagined. She could very easily be discouraged. Especially living in a resting home. But she takes it in such stride, and makes sure everyone feels happy around her. I love her, and only wish happy things for her in her whole life.
10. Mr. Clinton.
He was my 10th grade high school health teacher. He was my high school principal. He was one of my oclosest friends and biggest supporters. He has a passion for teaching that not many teacher possess. He is loud and doesn't always say things right, but he is wise. There were many times when we would have talks for hours after school. And he listened to me. And gave me some of the best advice I could ever ask for. I was feeling unhappy in high school. And he told me his expectation for my graduation. He wanted to give me a hug when I graduated. So I had to graduate, and couldn't get too overwhelmed with my life. And he did give me a hug when I graduated. And told me he was so proud of me. I had my parents support all through high school, but it meant so much to me to have a teacher, and a principal believe in me all through high school. Mr. Clinton, thank you. Thank you so much.
25.2.13
Longing.
I miss you.
I know I'm going to see you really soon.
But I miss you right now.
Because watching Arrested Development.
Is boring.
Without your arm around me,
And laying in your armpit.
I know I'm going to see you really soon.
But I miss you right now.
Because watching Arrested Development.
Is boring.
Without your arm around me,
And laying in your armpit.
-
And now we're both married.
Neither of us knowing,
About the other.
And though there's a shadow,
From happy memories we shared,
I can't deny.
No.
I can't deny,
How overwhelmingly happy.
I feel for you.
And for me.
On getting past the craze.
Neither of us knowing,
About the other.
And though there's a shadow,
From happy memories we shared,
I can't deny.
No.
I can't deny,
How overwhelmingly happy.
I feel for you.
And for me.
On getting past the craze.
17.2.13
Day 8: 5 Passions
So I'm a couple days behind due to some circumstances, so I'm going to be doing 3 of these today.
1. Love.
I know, I know. Love itself is passion. But-I am passionate about love, and how it has the ability to influence people. I have been married for 7 weeks now, and even in that short amount of time, I have learned so much. If you really love someone, you love them even when they make you feel frustrated or angry and you love them just as much when they make you feel blissfully happy. I'm really lucky. I married a really good man. And sometimes we argue, because we are human and we don't always see eye to eye. But I know that after it all, we love each other.
2. My family.
My family is important to me. I've always been close with my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And now, my family has just expanded. I love my husband, and his family. I have 2 new brother in laws, parents in law (hahaha), sister in law, and a niece and nephew. Someday (not in the near future) I think I will be a good mom.
3. The Arts.
I've always been an extremely artistic person. I love to draw, paint, doodle, making jewelry, write stories, poetry, play instruments, sing, and listen to music. Being artistic sometimes makes me feel like it makes me more sensitive, but I think that's how I would have been, even if I wasn't an artist.
4. Sleeping.
Does that count as a passion? Hahaha. I love sleeping. It's seriously my favorite thing.
5. Children.
All children should be treated the right way, and never be fearful of abuse. I think is one of the many driving forces that make me want to go into social work.
1. Love.
I know, I know. Love itself is passion. But-I am passionate about love, and how it has the ability to influence people. I have been married for 7 weeks now, and even in that short amount of time, I have learned so much. If you really love someone, you love them even when they make you feel frustrated or angry and you love them just as much when they make you feel blissfully happy. I'm really lucky. I married a really good man. And sometimes we argue, because we are human and we don't always see eye to eye. But I know that after it all, we love each other.
2. My family.
My family is important to me. I've always been close with my siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And now, my family has just expanded. I love my husband, and his family. I have 2 new brother in laws, parents in law (hahaha), sister in law, and a niece and nephew. Someday (not in the near future) I think I will be a good mom.
3. The Arts.
I've always been an extremely artistic person. I love to draw, paint, doodle, making jewelry, write stories, poetry, play instruments, sing, and listen to music. Being artistic sometimes makes me feel like it makes me more sensitive, but I think that's how I would have been, even if I wasn't an artist.
4. Sleeping.
Does that count as a passion? Hahaha. I love sleeping. It's seriously my favorite thing.
5. Children.
All children should be treated the right way, and never be fearful of abuse. I think is one of the many driving forces that make me want to go into social work.
15.2.13
Day 7: My Dream Job.
I have several. They are over a period of time, so I will list them as they are most relevant to me.
1. I'm getting ready to complete my training to be a Volunteer in the Mentor-a-Child program at the Children's Justice Center. After I complete 40 training hours, I will be assigned a child, which I spend an hour or so with a week. We can go to the park, the library, go get an ice cream cone, really just have fun together. The entire point of this program is to be a support system for these kids. Be ready to listen to them, but mostly just be their friends. Be someone that they know they can count on.
2. Volunteer at The Center For Women and Children in Crisis by becoming a volunteer of the rape crisis team. Basically, I would be on the other end of the phone when someone calls, and I would give them resources to help themselves heal emotionally, get medical assistance, or how to report it to the police. I'm hoping I can do this over the summer, or at the end of spring.
3. Become a social worker. This is a step in my dream job. After I finish my general education, I hope to apply to Utah Valley University's Bachelor's of Social Work program. It's a 4 year program with 45 hours of required internship hours. Which would help me get to my...
4. Master's of Social Work to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). I want to become a counselor, and work primarily with adolescence. In order for me to complete my education, I hope to attend University of Utah's Master's of Social Work program. It's a 2-3 year program with 4000 required internship hours. That's my dream job. Truthfully. I want to help people more than I can explain. I think I would be a good therapist. I have what I would like to think of as a chameleon soul. I have always had friends from different backgrounds, because I'm good at adapting and understanding people on a personal level. With any luck, I would be done by the time I'm 26, but I don't know what the future will present, so until then, I will keep my fire burning, and try my hardest to accomplish my dreams.
1. I'm getting ready to complete my training to be a Volunteer in the Mentor-a-Child program at the Children's Justice Center. After I complete 40 training hours, I will be assigned a child, which I spend an hour or so with a week. We can go to the park, the library, go get an ice cream cone, really just have fun together. The entire point of this program is to be a support system for these kids. Be ready to listen to them, but mostly just be their friends. Be someone that they know they can count on.
2. Volunteer at The Center For Women and Children in Crisis by becoming a volunteer of the rape crisis team. Basically, I would be on the other end of the phone when someone calls, and I would give them resources to help themselves heal emotionally, get medical assistance, or how to report it to the police. I'm hoping I can do this over the summer, or at the end of spring.
3. Become a social worker. This is a step in my dream job. After I finish my general education, I hope to apply to Utah Valley University's Bachelor's of Social Work program. It's a 4 year program with 45 hours of required internship hours. Which would help me get to my...
4. Master's of Social Work to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). I want to become a counselor, and work primarily with adolescence. In order for me to complete my education, I hope to attend University of Utah's Master's of Social Work program. It's a 2-3 year program with 4000 required internship hours. That's my dream job. Truthfully. I want to help people more than I can explain. I think I would be a good therapist. I have what I would like to think of as a chameleon soul. I have always had friends from different backgrounds, because I'm good at adapting and understanding people on a personal level. With any luck, I would be done by the time I'm 26, but I don't know what the future will present, so until then, I will keep my fire burning, and try my hardest to accomplish my dreams.
14.2.13
Day 6: The Hardest Thing You've Ever Been Through
I would have to say high school.
I was really a lost soul. I was really fighting to find my identity, while being different in religion and political views. And I had some difficult circumstances. But I made it work. And I was impressively strong.
I was really a lost soul. I was really fighting to find my identity, while being different in religion and political views. And I had some difficult circumstances. But I made it work. And I was impressively strong.
13.2.13
Day 5: 5 Things that Make Me Happiest Right Now.
1. My rediscovered love of the bands I've always loved. For a while, I kind of lost who I was musically, because I couldn't define what I was feeling. It's nice to be able to define my feelings, but it's even better to listen to music that fuels me, and helps me get out of a funk. Right now, Tool is on the playlist.
2. Starbursts Fave REDs. Because they understand my pain when no one else does.
3. Warm Blankets. Enough said.
4. Carl. My little car. He's so zippy. And his sound system is pretty impressive for it being the built in speaker system.
5. My fingernails. I finally decided to paint them.
2. Starbursts Fave REDs. Because they understand my pain when no one else does.
3. Warm Blankets. Enough said.
4. Carl. My little car. He's so zippy. And his sound system is pretty impressive for it being the built in speaker system.
5. My fingernails. I finally decided to paint them.
12.2.13
Day 4: Things You Would Tell Your 16 Year Old Self
1. Pay attention in school. Especially in Math. Because spoiler alert! You suck at it.
2. Love the friends you have now. Most of them disappear later.
3. For hell's sake, you dated the boy for 6 weeks. GET OVER HIM.
4. Stop blogging in photo class. It creeps everyone out.
5. Your taste in music is awesome. Don't give it up. Except for some of the screamo. You can let that part of you go.
6. Don't stay angry at Nina forever. She helps you a lot in your life later.
7. Let the pain go. It's unnecessary for you to force yourself to suffer.
8. Enjoy your 2nd trip to Disneyland! It's another 2 years before you go back.
9. Don't say you'll never marry, because you look stupid when you get married 2 years later.
10. Love your parents, and sisters, and brother. They are totally there for you. Let them be your best friends.
2. Love the friends you have now. Most of them disappear later.
3. For hell's sake, you dated the boy for 6 weeks. GET OVER HIM.
4. Stop blogging in photo class. It creeps everyone out.
5. Your taste in music is awesome. Don't give it up. Except for some of the screamo. You can let that part of you go.
6. Don't stay angry at Nina forever. She helps you a lot in your life later.
7. Let the pain go. It's unnecessary for you to force yourself to suffer.
8. Enjoy your 2nd trip to Disneyland! It's another 2 years before you go back.
9. Don't say you'll never marry, because you look stupid when you get married 2 years later.
10. Love your parents, and sisters, and brother. They are totally there for you. Let them be your best friends.
11.2.13
Day 3: My Relationship with My Parents.
My relationship with my parents has always been close. And that means so much to me. My mom is one of my best friends. My dad is one of my best friends. It's really amazing.
My mom and I talk every day.
My dad and I have the best talks ever.
They are amazing people.
And I am so blessed to have them.
My mom and I talk every day.
My dad and I have the best talks ever.
They are amazing people.
And I am so blessed to have them.
10.2.13
Day 2: 3 Legitimate Fears
1. Never being able to have babies.
With the health complications I had in the last little while, it really makes me feel so grateful for the times where I am healthy. It scares me to think that I might struggle to get pregnant, or not be able to get pregnant at all. Granted, I don't want to try to have a baby for several years. I would like to finish my education first. But I'm afraid that when that day comes, it's not going to work out for me.
2. Suicide.
I'm NOT worried that I have a problem with it. I'm not depressed, or anything like that. But the idea of someone ending their own life really freaks me out. It's so sad. And I know it's complicated, and a lot of things go into it. I think I fear that someone I love dearly would end their life, and I wouldn't have been there, or been able to do anything.
3. Bees. I even got stung this last summer. So I know it's really not that bad. But ever since I was small, bees have really frightened me. I'm the girl the screams and yells "BEE!!!" When there's a little honeybee on a flower. I lie and tell people I'm allergic so my fear is a little more legitimate. Let me tell you something...it's not.
With the health complications I had in the last little while, it really makes me feel so grateful for the times where I am healthy. It scares me to think that I might struggle to get pregnant, or not be able to get pregnant at all. Granted, I don't want to try to have a baby for several years. I would like to finish my education first. But I'm afraid that when that day comes, it's not going to work out for me.
2. Suicide.
I'm NOT worried that I have a problem with it. I'm not depressed, or anything like that. But the idea of someone ending their own life really freaks me out. It's so sad. And I know it's complicated, and a lot of things go into it. I think I fear that someone I love dearly would end their life, and I wouldn't have been there, or been able to do anything.
3. Bees. I even got stung this last summer. So I know it's really not that bad. But ever since I was small, bees have really frightened me. I'm the girl the screams and yells "BEE!!!" When there's a little honeybee on a flower. I lie and tell people I'm allergic so my fear is a little more legitimate. Let me tell you something...it's not.
Day 1: 20 Things about Alex.
1. My name is Alexandria. My name means protector.
2. I'm an artist. Watercolor being my favorite.
 |
| (This is not my personal artwork)
3. I married the love of my life at 18 years old.
4. I met my best friend when I was 4. She moved across the country when I was 14. We are still best friends after 4 years of long distance best friendship. And we're closer than ever.
5. Sleeping is my favorite.
6. I love animals! I've had pet dogs, frogs, cat, rat, and fish before.
7. I LOVE T-SHIRTS. Especially Tie-dye t-shirts.
8. I have chronically frozen feet. The feet of an 80-year-old man. And I would know because...
9. I'm a CNA. (Certified Nursing Assistant) I work at Trinity Mission Health and Rehabilitation.
10. I can do Glittertoes without all the gel crap. And they last just as long.
11. 11 is my lucky number.
12. I aspire to write a memoir.
13. I have IBS. (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) That means I'm either super constipated for days, or dumping my intestines in the nearest toilet. But it's only bad when I eat super spicy or foods that are too warm.
14. I always wear the bracelet my husband bought me in Morocco, when we very first started dating. I never take it off.
15. I have 2 beautiful sisters, 1 handsome brother, and 1 sister-in-law-to-be. They have all been there for me at my lowest, and celebrate with my at my highest. I am truly blessed. They are the closest things to angels anyone could ask for.
16. I also have kick ass parents. My mom is my best friend. We talk about everything. So is my Daddy. He loves me more than I understand.
17. I love to eat! Eating yummy foods is my favorite. It's safe to say I've become a bit of a foodie.
18. I really enjoy making jewelry.
19. I turn 19 this year on April 19th.
20. I have a passion for life. And it scares the hell outta me sometimes.
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Blog Challenge.
This is different than ones I've done in the past. It's a little more evolved. Thanks Nina. For the GREAT idea. (P.S. We still need to jam. My violin missed you this week.)
9.2.13
Pretty Girl
I want to be a pretty girl.
Someone you remember.
My hair shines,
Teeth sparkle,
Never have had a pimple,
Naturally slender.
I want to be a pretty girl.
Never speak,
Unless spoken to,
Clean apartment,
Dishes and laundry,
Finished early.
I want to be a pretty girl.
Make people smile,
People love me,
Simply because,
I have boobs,
And a pretty smile.
I never want to be a pretty girl.
Tie-dye t-shirts,
Messy buns,
Unshaved legs,
Have an old soul,
Dorky laugh.
I want to be a good wife.
I want to be me.
Someone you remember.
My hair shines,
Teeth sparkle,
Never have had a pimple,
Naturally slender.
I want to be a pretty girl.
Never speak,
Unless spoken to,
Clean apartment,
Dishes and laundry,
Finished early.
I want to be a pretty girl.
Make people smile,
People love me,
Simply because,
I have boobs,
And a pretty smile.
I never want to be a pretty girl.
Tie-dye t-shirts,
Messy buns,
Unshaved legs,
Have an old soul,
Dorky laugh.
I want to be a good wife.
I want to be me.
7.2.13
Because Life is so Sweet.
The weight of a suicide always hangs heavily on my mind.
And whenever I hear about a girl that was 16, 17, 18, 19, offing her sweet existence I'm really really disturbed, and cry. I cry a lot.
I've thought about it more today. Someone I knew very briefly is now in heaven.
And I ask, why?
We are all fighting ridiculously hard battles. Some far harder than we could have ever imagined.
Especially as girls. We are manipulated, criticized, and corrected in everything we do.
We can't be too fat.
We can't be too skinny.
We can't be too smart.
We can't be too stupid.
We can't be too ugly.
We can't be too pretty.
We can't be to mean.
We can't be too nice.
We can't fucking breathe.
It's all a fine balance. And as reading through my blog's past, I was an extremely depressed teenager. I am thankful that I sought help when I did. Because I can't honestly say I would have been strong enough to carry the life I live.
And now I do. And life is sweet. And love is beautiful. And I think to myself. Of these pretty girls. These incredibly beautiful girls. That die young. And stay in their youth. And will never know what it's like to be married, or have little babies. And I think that's what makes me cry.
I wish I could be there with every girl considering a dangerous path of death. And drape my arms around her shoulders and love her.
Tell her.
"Life is going to kick you straight in the ass. And when you think you're strong enough to get back up, it'll kick you in the ribs, the teeth, wherever it needs to to keep you down. You have to find a reason to get back up. You are a beautiful person. Things will get better. It may take a really long time. But stick around for your Mommy. Daddy. Auntie. Uncle. Brother. Sister. Cousins. Friends. Me. Stick around for me. Because I love you so much."
And maybe they wouldn't swallow pills. Pull triggers. Slit wrists.
Because life is so sweet.
And I've learned so much about how life can turn around and be sweet as punch in less than a year.
I wish I could have saved you.
Everyone will miss you terribly.
We love you.
Rest in peace, beautiful.
And may you hold Jesus' hand forever.
And whenever I hear about a girl that was 16, 17, 18, 19, offing her sweet existence I'm really really disturbed, and cry. I cry a lot.
I've thought about it more today. Someone I knew very briefly is now in heaven.
And I ask, why?
We are all fighting ridiculously hard battles. Some far harder than we could have ever imagined.
Especially as girls. We are manipulated, criticized, and corrected in everything we do.
We can't be too fat.
We can't be too skinny.
We can't be too smart.
We can't be too stupid.
We can't be too ugly.
We can't be too pretty.
We can't be to mean.
We can't be too nice.
We can't fucking breathe.
It's all a fine balance. And as reading through my blog's past, I was an extremely depressed teenager. I am thankful that I sought help when I did. Because I can't honestly say I would have been strong enough to carry the life I live.
And now I do. And life is sweet. And love is beautiful. And I think to myself. Of these pretty girls. These incredibly beautiful girls. That die young. And stay in their youth. And will never know what it's like to be married, or have little babies. And I think that's what makes me cry.
I wish I could be there with every girl considering a dangerous path of death. And drape my arms around her shoulders and love her.
Tell her.
"Life is going to kick you straight in the ass. And when you think you're strong enough to get back up, it'll kick you in the ribs, the teeth, wherever it needs to to keep you down. You have to find a reason to get back up. You are a beautiful person. Things will get better. It may take a really long time. But stick around for your Mommy. Daddy. Auntie. Uncle. Brother. Sister. Cousins. Friends. Me. Stick around for me. Because I love you so much."
And maybe they wouldn't swallow pills. Pull triggers. Slit wrists.
Because life is so sweet.
And I've learned so much about how life can turn around and be sweet as punch in less than a year.
I wish I could have saved you.
Everyone will miss you terribly.
We love you.
Rest in peace, beautiful.
And may you hold Jesus' hand forever.
4.2.13
Bedroom
Spending the night at my parents makes me miss my old room.
Blue walls.
Messy nightstand.
Twin bed.
Love is powerful.
But so is kind of missing being a place that feels a little more like home.
Blue walls.
Messy nightstand.
Twin bed.
Love is powerful.
But so is kind of missing being a place that feels a little more like home.
3.2.13
Post-Surg.
I can't take a freaking bath.
And it's only 10:17 and I'm exhausted.
And Dave died in Assassin's Creed.
But at least I love my husband.
And I've lost 10 pounds in the last week.
And it's only 10:17 and I'm exhausted.
And Dave died in Assassin's Creed.
But at least I love my husband.
And I've lost 10 pounds in the last week.
My Uterus Is Special.
Things I've learned this week:
1. I have the best, most supportive, loving, brave, sweet husband ever. He watched me suffer all week. And he stayed strong for me. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me. He blows me away.
2. My uterus is unique. After a week of serious pain, we found out what was wrong. I bleed into my tubes, and out around my uterus. It causes severe inflammation, and more pain that you can imagine.
3. I'm allergic to morphine, ultram, and dilaudid. In addition to the percocet, lortab, menocycline, and latex that I already knew about.
4. I have the most amazing husband in the whole world. He would do anything for me. And he loves me more than I can comprehend. And I love him just as much.
5. Post surgery is painful. And that's the fucking truth.
6. My fear of going crazy was made a reality this week. 5 times this week.
7. I have the most loving husband in the universe.
8. We went through hell this week. So the next year should be a piece of cake. If the first year of your marriage is your hardest, here comes eternity, because we went through hell in our first month.
9. Thank God for medical insurance.
10. I have my perfect match. I love you Bubba.
1. I have the best, most supportive, loving, brave, sweet husband ever. He watched me suffer all week. And he stayed strong for me. There is nothing he wouldn't do for me. He blows me away.
2. My uterus is unique. After a week of serious pain, we found out what was wrong. I bleed into my tubes, and out around my uterus. It causes severe inflammation, and more pain that you can imagine.
3. I'm allergic to morphine, ultram, and dilaudid. In addition to the percocet, lortab, menocycline, and latex that I already knew about.
4. I have the most amazing husband in the whole world. He would do anything for me. And he loves me more than I can comprehend. And I love him just as much.
5. Post surgery is painful. And that's the fucking truth.
6. My fear of going crazy was made a reality this week. 5 times this week.
7. I have the most loving husband in the universe.
8. We went through hell this week. So the next year should be a piece of cake. If the first year of your marriage is your hardest, here comes eternity, because we went through hell in our first month.
9. Thank God for medical insurance.
10. I have my perfect match. I love you Bubba.
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