Missing.

I really really really miss being a creator. I used to pride myself with the label "Painter." But now that I haven't painted in so long my brushes are sad, and my paints are drying, I feel like I need to start anew. I'm going to paint tonight. Dave can dremel. I'll paint a picture. I have no idea what to paint. But I miss that part of me. Maybe I'll just watercolor. Finish what I was never brave enough to finish. Assuming I still have my reference picture. I don't know. I need something to make me feel less nervous. I'm really nervous for my kayaking trip tomorrow. What if something goes horribly wrong? I know this is horrible...I shouldn't think this way. But I'm truly afraid. Also. College is really hard. I'm dropping out and joining the circus.