Simplicity at it's Best.

As I was sitting, and laying awake last night, I came across a realization that made me feel small, and insignificant.

I haven't been through anything. . . .

At all...

I realized as I was laying awake, that I haven't been through anything at all, that would make me depressed, make me want to hurt myself, or make me feel worthless. I look at my friends, and their stories, a lot of them of strength and trial, and they've handled it far better than I have. As they've experienced more heartache and pain than I have.

For instance....

My best friend Nina. Probably the most amazing girl in the entire world. She's kind of felt like the black sheep of what her parents want her to be, which if you've ever been there, we all know is completely sucky. She tries to be an individual, because she has her own mind. But when you have you're own mind, a lot of the time, you get shut down, because conformity is easier to control. Love has always hurt her. If I could personally beat all the scum that has hurt her in her life, I would be content. And yet she still fights to be happy. I'm not going to list all of what I see as her problems in her life, because that's rude, and non appreciated. Hahah. But neen knows I would support her through Hell and back, and if I had to go die for her I would.

Suzanna. I don't know how she does it. Really. She learned that she was moving to north carolina and handled it very well, might I add. Then, 2 months later, her parents informed her, that they no longer believe in the church that they were attending, and never really had. This, in my opinion, is why it's so hard for Suzanna right now. God in my life, is everything. He was everything in her life too, until she started doubting it, and stopped believing it all together, because she didn't have any religious support. God is someone to turn to in times of wonderful happiness, and times of great tragedy. For Suzanna, He was her Rock. And she loved Him, and never doubted Him. Even when she started getting depressed at the beginning of high school, she would pray, and then she would feel better, because she knew like I knew, that God has a reason for everything. And then she started to feel like she was being personally attacked by her parents about not being able to let go of Utah. Umm.....HELLO!!!! She freaking lived her for 15 and 1/2 years of her life. She had to leave her best friend, her almost boyfriend, her home/somewhere she knew was home, and not to mention all of her friends and her entire life here. If she forgot about me, or even forgot about her life here, I would be devestated. (See? more about me... :/) Suzi. I love you, and I just want you to feel happy again. Really happy.

Michael Draper. Is probably the most amazing person in the entire world. I don't know much about his past, but I do know he know about the real struggles of life. Where you're worried about getting pulled into Foster Care. And completely forgotten. He's worked for everything he has, and is the most giving person in the entire world. He knows the world of real loss, and the world of real love. Because when you're worried about making it to the next day, you learn how to appreciate the small things. Mike. You're an inspiration.

Dom. I don't know how he does what he does. When he explained to me the situation with his father, it really made me appreciate the family that I have, and the way they work. He loves his Mom more than anyone in the entire world. And he's just so kick ass, even though life pulled a fast one over him. The only thing I see as being a fatality to his great personage, would be the rage that he holds inside for what his dad did to him. I fear that if he doesn't let it go, it'll make him blow. Kind of like the coke and mentos theory. And it won't be in front of his dad. I can promise that. It'll be in front of someone he loves. Dommy. You know I love you. You need to let it go. Let go of the pain. Don't forget it, but let it go. Let it be a model as the kind of father you don't want to be. I can tell you this much. You've learned something. And I know you well enough to where if you were married, and had a family, you would be an amazing father. I do know this. From the bottom of my heart.

My little sister Sophie. Her journey in life has always made me even more protective over her. When she was little, she had terrible allergies. She sounded stuffy a lot, and people used to make fun of her voice. And she allowed it. As she got older, her friends backstabbed her. Jessie for Billy, Chloe for Rachel, Maree for Chloe and Rachel. Jessie came around, and has proved herself as a real friend. And then her constant battle with headaches her entire life. We didn't know at the time, but she had a condition that made her have these continual headaches. So she went into the hospital to have a small surgery that had a 50/50 chance of working. And she knew that. For her, it didn't work. And it made her very sick for a couple of days. Then, she decided to get a device placed, so that the headaches would stop. This made everything so much worse for the first couple of weeks. She was so sick. I thought she was going to die. And it was so freaky. But, as we all know, she's very much so alive, and I couldn't love her any more than I do.

The thing is I complain a lot. So really if you think about it. I've been through all the normal things of life, and I'm just a big baby about it.