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My favorite Place (27)

My favorite place in the entire world....

Is my bedroom.

It has seen me cry, cut myself apart with nasty words, write in my journal, text, create art, trash it, clean it, relax, sleep, and of course, read. And do math homework. On my bed.

My mind....

Although sometimes I don't feel like my mind is always a safe place, I know that everything that comes from that is usually an original idea. Like for art. My mind is my place for inspiration when I can't find one.

The office of my house:

It has the computer that comforts me.
The carpet I've stained multiple times with paint.
My paints and things all over the counters.
My bible open on the desk.
It's safe.

(:

Camera!!!

So my grandpa just gave me an SLR for no decent reason other than he wants me to take pictures. Nice....(:

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Me: "Sophie, how's your boyfriend?"
Sophie: [smiling] "I dunno! He never texts me back!!!!!"

LOL!!!!!

LMAO!!!!!

A First (26)

A first? That's so freaking broad.

The first time I......What?!?!?!?!

So I'll write about the first time I discovered Deathstars. My new BFF in music.

Zac and I were driving around. It was a rainy day. Kinda dark. I was a little bummed out, so he turned on some music that he guaranteed would totally kick ass. I trusted his judgment in good music, so I listened. Little did I know I was going to find music that totally changed my life!!!!
I added ONE song to a playlist forever ago, and never thought about it again. So recently I gave it a whirl on grooveshark. And honestly. Magic happened in my heart. I've been listening to Termination Bliss. Aaaah. Such a good album. I can't wait to buy it. I need it on my ipod immediately.
Another band I've completely fallen in love with....Mudvayne. Particularly L.D.50. I dunno. Something about the power of his scream makes my insides flutter. LOL!!!!!


I love Skinny Disco from Deathstars!!! He's so kick ass!!!!!

25 My fears

-Spontaneous Combustion

-lots of ants on an anthill

-My burning passion for My Little Pony (Thank you Wesley)

-Losing my Baba

-Dream Theater breaking up....too late.

-Getting possessed by a demon

-Never getting better

-Never getting married

-Becoming an old lady with too many dogs

-Forever working in retail

-Getting struck by lightening

-Mormons

-Drugs

-Getting Plastered

-Getting sick on the merry go round (Again...Thanks Wesley...)

-Getting seduced in a dark alley

-Never becoming desired

-Never getting kissed (Just kidding)

-Fake boobs

-Very limited amounts of my own artwork

-Wesley's smolder

-Horses

-Cats

-Small dogs

-Never going to Italy

-Suzanna getting married

-Simm

-Losing my jacket

-Freezing to deatkh

-Dying in a fire

-Getting tickled to death

Things That Make Me Cry (24)

Not much makes me cry. I like to think of myself as an emotionally strong person. Because in all reality, I'm emotionally the hulk. But there are still things that make me cry. I'm still human.

-Basically every break up I've ever had has made me cry
-Getting in heated arguments
-Religious prejudice (after it's been a super long time, and I realize it'll always be that way)
-Random injuries (I didn't cry when I injured my shoulder, but when I hurt my foot, I bawled like a baby)
-Euphoric moments of success (Festival)
-Special family moments that make me feel so much joy, it makes me teary.
-Frustration
-Losing things (I don't really cry, a few tears escape, and I yell)
-Failed friendships
-Suzanna living in north Carolina
-Wisdom from my priests
-Confessionals
-Really repentance in general
-Really spiritual moments that give me the goosebumps
-Getting blessings always makes me cry at least a little

S2mething That Mak3s You Feel Better

I have certain things that inevitably makes me feel so much better

We're going to start out with music that always makes me feel noticeably better

-Dream Theater

-Tool

-Mudvayne (My newest favorite)

-Deathstars (Love. Love. Love.)
-All That Remains

-Coheed and Cambria

-Led Zeppelin

-Avenged Sevenfold

-Alice in Chains

-Nirvana

-Ingrid Michaelson

-Regina Spektor

-Marina & The Diamonds

-Moby

-Delirium

-Dido

-Evanescence

-Flyleaf

-Blue October

-Shinedown

-Adam Lambert

-Aqua

-ToyBox




Random Things That Make Me Feel Better:
-My Journal
-Computer
-Blog
-Blanket
-Candles
-Pens and Paper
-Charcoal and paper
-Arting
-Suzi's T-shirt
-Nail Polish
-Rings
-Bracelets
-Books
-Necklaces
-Butterflies

People that make me feel better:
-Mommy
-Daddy
-PJ
-Sara
-Sophie
-Sariah
-Suzanna
-Brother Heaston
-Liz
-Reylynn
-Wesley
-Sy
-Isaak
-Britney
-Sarah Smith
-Jesse.
-Cindy

(22) Something That Upsets Me

Lots of little things upset me.

Little things:
-Forgetting things
-Driving (at times)
-Lots and lots of homework (more stressful)
-Not understanding certain circumstances
-Bracelets that won't come off when I need them to.
-Kids that joke about certain people that I consider good friends.
-When Sophie and I get in fights
-When I randomly have violent impulses (which almost NEVER happens.)
-Failing my math test by 1%
-Forgetting to bring home my art project.
-Being the fat best friend....in every best friend relationship I have
-Secretly knowing I can't get married in Utah
-Boys
-Girls
-When my fingers bleed randomly (more annoying)
-Losing everything...I already said that.

Snap....Ouch. That Was My Heart.

Well.

Jesse and I broke up. That sucks. Mostly a lot.
It hurts. Mostly a lot.
But I wish I really understood why.

Remember When?

Remember when we found each other?

Remember every conversation on the phone?

Remember every heartbreak?

Remember every chick flick?

Remember every Jam session?

Remember every dance party?

Remember every summer day?

Remember quesadillas?

Remember when I ditched you?

Remember when you ditched me?

Remember when we cried from missing each other?

Remember our similarities?

Remember our differences?

Remember when he made us lose it?

Remember when I stopped caring?

Remember when you stopped trying?

Remember when we used to be best friend?

Another Moment 21

I got a superior and 2 stars in festival today.
I couldn't be happier about it.

Judge: "You play it like you love it."
Me: "I looooove this piece."

Earlier that day.....
"I FREAKING HATE THIS PIECE!!!!"

20-This month

This one is kind of hard, because nothing that great has really happened yet.

But....

Tomorrow....
Is piano Festival. I hope I do well. I've practiced. So all I have to do left is perform.

Monday...
Valentine's day. I bought valentines for my friends. And I have a very special valentine for someone in particular (:

18th......Is the full moon of the month. Falls on a Friday.


And there's only 28 days in this month (:

Oh yeaH!!!!

And my surrogate sister Juliana is turning 21!!!!!

19 Something I Regret

I try to live without regrets. But that's essentially useless.

I regret:

-Pretending I didn't believe in God.
- Essentially every relationship I've been in up until now
-Not saying thank you enough
-Not saying I love you enough
-Desiring to end things before the begin
-Fighting with my sister about stupid things
-Every scar on my hips, ribs, wrists and legs
-Never trying to fix what was broken
-Taking advantage of her friendship
-Cooper
-Sean
-Not washing my face Saturday.
-Not creating more artwork last semester. I'm in overhaul now
-Everytime I've given up on myself when I could have done something great.
-Not trying to make junior friends. My life is going to SUCK next year
-Cutting my hair last year. It's not growing back.
-Letting myself go. Not quite literally. Kind of. I've gained weight. And it's starting to get noticeable.
-Every time I used her
-Not buying bubbles last night.
-Forgetting to shave Sunday.
-Biting Sophie today.
-Being moody with Jesse today. I'm sure I'm such a peach.
-Accidentally cutting my finger block printing
-Getting blood all over the piano keys. Because I didn't want to get a bandaid.


But mostly.
I regret.
Being alone with him.
On.
September 7th.

18-My Favorite Birthday

Well. That's easy.

That would definitely be my 16th birthday. I had the coolest sweet 16 ever. Well, at least I think so. I had like 5 birthday gatherings. Hhahahaha.
1 with the family
1 with friends
Random birthday cards that kept coming in the mail
My real birthday
My prom/birthday celebration with my sister Sara.

My sweet 16 was so fun. We had a BBQ and we played volleyball, but everyone attacked eachother with paint when the other team scored a point. We were all covered in paint. Someday when I find the pictures I'll post them.
Then we had a fire pit and ice cream at home. It was a good day.

My Favorite Memory. (17)

That's easy for me.

I have lots of good memories, with lots of people. But the one memory that has shaped me was spending 2 days with my great grandpa Don up in Montana by myself.

My great Grandpa (Don) Friske is one of the few people in my life, that I felt I didn't need to impress at all. There were so many things that we talked about that he could of turned, and looked at me, and kindly asked me to leave his home. But he didn't.
Instead he:
-Made us a sandwich to share (:
-Watched and explained more westerns to me than I'll ever be able to recall
-Held his hand as I helped him up the stairs at a restaurant, and his gratitude
-His salty kisses
-His voice. I couldn't really describe it if I was asked to. But I can hear it crystal clear in my head
-His hands. He's missing his pinkie on his left hand. You can't tell unless you look for it, but when he was holding my hand as I helped him up the stairs, I couldn't help but notice how time had changed his hands completely. I wrote a poem about it, but didn't post it.

My grandpa loves me for who I am.
I miss you grandpa. Please come visit soon!!!!!
I love you!!!!!!!

My F1rst Ki6s

My first kiss wasn't anything that special. Sparks didn't fall out of the sky. The world didn't stop. It was just that. A kiss.

I've had 3 kisses (out of the 3 guys I've kissed. Haha), all of which created different "First Kisses" for me.


-His name was Sean, and he fell into my heart as quickly as he left. Kind of feels like a waste of a kiss to be honest. It was the summer before my sophomore year, and I wish I had the wisdom I have now to bestow on a younger me.....Anyway. It was raining that whole day. And we were outside on the track by Canyon View. He was throwing around he lacrosse ball, and I followed him, similarly to a sheepdog. He stopped suddenly. Gave me a hug, grabbed the back of my neck, and kissed me. (Granted there was more time in between those actions, but in my mind it felt like BAM BAM BAM!!!) I smiled the rest of the evening, only to become heart broken later that month. He used me. Just like expected.


-Cooper is next down the line. His kiss was different from Sean's. There was a little spark, but that was all it was. I had fallen "in love" with him that entire summer, and it was the first time I had seen him in 4 months. My dad dropped me off (Still didn't have my license) and he was waiting for me in Tyler's front yard. He gave me a massive I've-missed-you-so-much kind of hug. Then he laced his fingers in mine, and walked with me to the garage to go into Tyler's house. He stopped us. Looked me in the eyes. And kissed me. Tyler opened the door a couple of seconds later, laughed at us, as we laughed at ourselves, and we went inside. I turned pink. That was the first kiss that started to mean something to me. At the time, it would be a memory I would cling to for a short while. It was short and pleasant.


-Jesse is my most recent kiss. And so far (and maybe it's because we're together right now) it has meant the most, because it came about the right way for sure. I remember it crystal clear. (Mostly because I wrote it in my journal. Hahaha) We had been friends, then good friends, then flirty friends, then more than friends. In that order. Anyway.....We had gone to Zupas and had watched a movie at Sari's house that evening, and we were dropping him off at his house. (Driving arrangements were odd that day. Haha) I got out of the car to give him a hug. And that's basically what happened. He hugged me a little bit longer than usual, and then he pulled back, and kissed me. I totally wasn't ready for it either. Hahaha. I think my face kind of gave that one away. I was definitely surprised. But a good, fill your tummy full of butterflies, stop the world for a second, catch your breath, pinch yourself to see if it's real type of surprise kiss. This is the first kiss that magic happened for me. (Romance novel worthy. *Claps*) Hahahaha. Well, anyway. That's it.













Why are you still reading this?

My Dreams (15)

I dream of getting married. I don't want a prince charming to sweep me off my feet. I want to marry my best friend. Someone that I know I can trust, and someone I know will keep me safe forever. Someone I love, I guess.

And I dream about my wedding. A lot. I'm a girl, and I'm guessing it has to do with the estrogen, but honestly, I live in Utah Valley, since most of my SENIOR friends from last year are getting married right now, I can't help but wonder about it a little.





I don't really feeling like everything I dream.

I dream of being successful. The end.

14-Chores

My chores are pretty minimal in comparison to most. In fact, I'm almost embarrassed to list them, because they are so minimal. Oh well.

Daily Chores:
Clean the kitchen (Never really that bad)
Vacuum the upstairs carpets (This is usually every other day actually)
Practice the piano.
Do my homework.

Like I said. Pathetic.

Saturday chores:
Clean my room (Which depending on the severity of my room, IS THE WORST!!!!!)
Clean the girls bathroom. (Even worse. Because I lose so much hair, because I'm in the process of going bald, there is always a plethora in the sink and on the tile. TMI. Oh well (: The rest isn't bad. It goes pretty fast)
Laundry room (Can go fast, or can take forever)
Vacuum the stairs........(Never very fun)
Clean up the kitchen (Never that bad)
Dust the living room


My chores total could take me like maybe an hour. If I'm working slow. But because I usually remain unmotivated, can take me hours and hours


(I'm always this happy when I clean the bathroom)





(This is my room on a good week)




(Women are always thrilled to make cookies)