I have grown up my entire life as a Catholic in Mormon Valley. It wasn't always easy, but somehow I made it work. I even married someone whose entire family is Mormon. Dave and I have never had a problem with it. Dave considers himself Christian. And that works well for us. In recent thinking, I've thought a lot about christianity, and what we all claim to share. The "universal message" that we all think we possess.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself."
It's a simple statement really. Much stronger than the good old golden rule.
But we don't listen to it. We don't practice the very words that we preach. It's so easy. So freaking easy to pass judgement. That person is too fat. That person is too ugly. That person is black. That person is a jew, catholic, mormon, agnostic, baptist, atheist, muslim. That person is gay. That person is a slut. That person cuts her skin, she must hate herself. That person is depressed. That person is crazy. That person has too many tattoos and piercings. That person isn't GOOD ENOUGH.
It's so easy. I would be lying if I said I had never judged someone for being different from me. And you would be lying if you told me you'd never judged or made an assumption about someone just based off of first glance.
Where is the love for one another? Where is the genuine concern for those around us? If someone is crying in public, our first instinct is to ignore them to avoid an awkward situation. When we should be comforting them. Offer them a tissue. A small act of kindness.
I think I struggle with this concept a lot because of where I live. Like I said, I have always been a little different. I have been a catholic in mormon valley. I had a friend Norma, who was also catholic. We dealt with it very differently. She accepted where she lived. She had lots of friends. Was popular. Went to church regularly. I saw her every sunday. But she didn't feel the need to wear her religion on her sleeve.
I wanted to be more radically different than my religion. I wanted to be heard. For all of the pain and confusion I had suffered throughout my childhood. I was told several times as a child that my beliefs were wrong. I had parents who wouldn't let their children hang out with my just because I was catholic. So therefore, I wasn't good enough. So I chose my path in high school. I spoke my mind. I thought differently than the norm. I struggled with depression and self harm, and I rode that pony. I wanted people to see that I was struggling. I was too good for everyone else. I didn't want to morph into THEM. As I've been married into an LDS family, I have that little things bother me. My brother and sister-in-law are getting married in the temple in 2 weeks. I am so happy they found each other and are getting married. But it has always offended me that unless you are sealed and married in the temple, that your marriage isn't held as highly. Sometimes I have a hard time praying with them. Which is silly. Because we all believe in the same God. The same merciful God who loves us. It annoyed me that no one looked at my tattoo when I initially displayed it. But I knew they would talk about it after I left. It makes me sad that I make myself feel like I don't fit into my own family. But I had a moment last week. My sister-in-laws and I were having a conversation about eating and exercising, and how much it sucks to try to lose weight. And I realized. I'm just not that different. I may have different beliefs. And I may have tattoos and swear too much. But we're all pretty similar. We're all almost married into the same family.
And after a lot of guidance and counseling, I realize, isolating myself, and acting standoffish, makes them feel just as much pain and rejection as I feel when I act that way. And though I may not feel 100% comfortable in the family yet, I am on my way there. And that feels good. Really good. And I want to feel love.
That's the thing. We may judge each other, but in the end, most of us that consider ourselves christian guide with kindness. We pray for each other. We help a neighbor when they are ill. We parent each others children. We cry for what hurts the ones we love.
But we are human.
And that's what makes us so different from Him whom we worship.
There is such a thing as universal love.
It's God. The God who brought us here. Gave us the challenges and strengths that we have. He's the One who gave us our families, our friends, our pets. He gave us our lives.
And that, is universal love.
I love my family. Both of them.
