War With a Wasp.

Bees are one of my greatest fears in life. So I wasn't exactly thrilled when I saw one buzzing around my ceiling fan. In fact, like any adult person would do, I fled the scene, and texted my husband.

"THERE'S A BEE IN OUR LIVINGROOM! (I tried to shoot it with the nerf gun, but I pissed it off."

He texts me back 2 words:

"Protect Krieger."


I put my grown up panties on, put some war paint on, and get ready.
I loaded our nerf guns to full capacity.
I had a cup and an envelope ready.

I took several shots at the wasp. The nerf approach wasn't the right approach.

So I spun the fan, and tried to force the wasp to move location. It moved....to the other light. So this time I clutched my zebra print flip flop, and tried to slap the damn wasp. Missed. The wasp wasn't happy, and angrily buzzed around the fan. We danced like this for about 20 minutes. Thinking to myself the entire time.

"I'm doing this for a damn bunny. Why the hell am I doing this for a bunny?"

Finally, the bee landed on one of the pull cords on the fan. So I put my Knott's Berry Farm cup around him, and trapped him with an envelope. I walked straight to my back door, and turned on the light, and opened the cup. The bee wasn't getting out. So I dumped him on the back step. Where he just kind of sat there.

This angered me.


I grabbed the polka dot rainboot next to me, and showed that stupid bee no mercy. I continued to stomp my boot onto that dead bee carcass for several seconds. Until I was satisfied knowing he was 100% dead. There would be no wasp apocalypse on my watch.







My skin is still crawling with goosebumps.

I hate bees.