GAAAAAAAH!!!!! My emotions are so inconsistent. Happy. Sad. Irritable. Happy. Embarrassed. Grumpy. Angry. Happy. Giddy. Meeeh.
I just want to say lots of naughty words, but I don't think that would be very appreciated. So, instead I'll pretend that I don't want to say them at all.
So much for staying skinny. Wrestling worked great, until I had to stop, and now, I'm gaining ALL THE WEIGHT back. Oh well. I just need to start running again. There is no way in hell I'm going to be able to lose as much weight as I was initial. But it'd be cool if I just started doing stairs all the time. It seriously revved my metabolism.
Why the hell did I ever cut my bangs? They were FINALLY long enough. I could style them, they looked relatively cute, and then....CHOP. I always want to cut my hair whenever I'm with Nina. I don't know why. Hahaha. So Neen, next time I come over, hide you scissors. I might chop my hair again.
Couldn't sleep very well last night. I was hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold all night. And then I was having really really really strange dreams. I don't really remember much of it, but it's freaking retarded.
Speaking of dreams....I had a SERIOUSLY graphic nightmare the evening before Thanksgiving. I only remember it spotty like, but I woke up crying for the first time in a long time.
Which reminds me...Crying sucks. S-U-C-K-S!!! I started crying for no reason last night. Not sobbing. Just. Crying. It was soooo lame. I wrote in my journal for the first time in months. It was really nice to be able to get rid of everything I was feeling. I took like a gigantor brain dump all over my journal. I wrote like 3 pages....
So now happy stuff.
Fluff. OH MY GOSH!!!! I finally started a piece in art today!!!! We're doing contour watercolors, and I'm doing a fetus!!! It's so cute!!!! Awwww. And I did a damn good job. Seriously. Everything is AWESOME!!!! MY IDEA FOR SAID PIECE: Paint the heart red and have it fade out into the black and white. IT"S GOING TO BE BOSS!!!!!
Yay!!!!!!
So now for the really simple easy stuff.....School....is lame. With the bright exceptions to everyday. Katie seriously has been my Godsend. Like really, I couldn't ask for a funnier person to make me happy every single day of my life. And Sariah gets me. I don't really know how to explain it. She just knows. She knows when I need a hug....or some gum, or maybe just a ride, to skip 3rd period and watch what I like about you instead. Hahahaa.
I wish...
-I was normal (Sometimes. Being different can be a good thing. And it's not like I'm so radically different that I can't relate to anybody, because realistically, I can relate to almost everybody)
-I was skinny. (Naturally. Without trying. I dont' care if I'm not "curvy." I'd rather be skinny than curvy any day)
-I wasn't so anxious. (It's not that I'm even paranoid. I just feel really anxious lately, like I'm waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what that is)
-I wish I was part of the religious norm (Don't get me wrong. I'm so proud to be Catholic, and to have such an amazing relationship with God, but it's frustrating when I realize, I can't get married in Orem. Because I'll never be the cookie cutter that I need to be)
-I had more hours at work (I realize that I'm technically "Holiday Help", but I'm working at minimum wage, and get 1 shift a week. Wow. Go nuts.)
-I knew what to get everyone for Christmas (But this I'm completely okay with. because this is my favorite part of Christmas. I think I'm going homemade for some of the Family gifts this year)
-He noticed. (That I am quite possibly the most embarrassed person in the entire world)
THE END!!!!!
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